Oh my goodness!!!

I am so very happy for my cyber friend S who has finally got a great positive pg result…  I am hugely happy for you and your DH, you so deserve this, and I can’t wait to follow your pg every step of the way (((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))

My big boy is 6 tomorrow :)

On easter Sunday 6 years ago, I was laying in hospital totally oblivous to the days events.  I have no memories of giving birth, I have no  memories of the day after around 11.30am, ironic that I called this blog ‘memories last forever’.  They only last forever if you have them in the first place.  ME was delivered by emergency c section at 12.12pm and because I had a general anesthetic I was totally dopped up on pethidene.

The boys are in bed and I’ve just been asking DH about that day.  I still ask him questions sometimes though not often anymore. 

I’m so thankful and greatful that ME is here with us, things truly were only seconds from being a very different outcome.  I still struggle with the traumatic events of ME’s birth, but not like I did in the first year.  Some people think you should just get over it, he’s here and he did survive.

If only it were that easy…  That day was a major life changing event for DH and I, but not in the same way that we expected on the day our first born arrived into the world.

I shudder when I see stories of children who weren’t so fortunate, either not surviving or being left with serious disabilities.  We had our 6 year check with the pediatrician this week and he still is amazed at ME’s outcome and tells me its the equivilant of winning lottery..   I agree whole heartedly… 

Another entry tonight…

Another couple who we are friends with having been having trouble in their marriage for some months.  My DH is quite close with the other DH.  The other DH will call him S, and my DH as they work together and have only spoken a little about what is going on.  Niether of us has spoken to the DW who I will call D.  From what S has said though we were getting the impression that he was trying to fix things, but D was making it difficult.  We have been feeling really sorry for S.

Tonight my DH and S had to go out for dinner with a customer.  Around 1/2 hour after my DH left D phoned me to ask if my DH had gone out to dinner??  I said yes and she started to cry.

She asked if I knew that they had split and I said kind of.  I asked her if she was ok and she started to cry again.

Well didn’t she drop a bomb on me!!  S had been having an affair for more than 2 years!!  With a woman that he has working for them and he has also cheated on his mistress.

D is devestated to say the least.  She told me so many things that I am more than a bit disgusted in S and his treatment of her.  My dilema now though is that she doesn’t want me to tell my DH!!

She’s worried about it getting back to S that she phoned me.  But I have found out a lot tonight about S and I think my DH has a right to know.  There are possibly  many business implications with some of what she has told me and I feel my DH needs to know some things.

My other concern is, I think my DH is going to be shattered.  My DH is a very straight forward, typical aussie guy who thinks most men are geniune and trustworthy.  He will be floored when I tell him whats been going on right under his nose.  He’ll be horrified to know that S is involved with this person and actually wants to leave his family for her.  He may also be worried about the business and if any thing funny is going on there.

Problem is my DH cannot let S know that he knows.  Oh this is so messy.  My head is doing flip flops and I have no idea how I can break this to my DH.  I think I might wait at least till the weekend so that he has time to digest everything and think is all out before he has to go to work.

Boy I sure don’t know how I’m going to get any sleep tonight with all this crazyness going on in my head.

My friend PF…

My friend PF has been fighting cancer for 2 years.  Lung cancer.  She hasn’t smoked for many years, so not sure if its related to that awful addiction or not.

 They were never expecting a cure, the cancer was inoperable and treatment wasn’t shrinking it only stopping it from growing.

Having treatment ever 3 weeks has been very tough but PF has soldiered on like a real trooper.

On Monday I was told that PF was in hospital and not expected to last the night.  I went straight to the hospital.  I was in such shock.  I was only hugging her about 10 days before and although she was tired I never in a million years thought that could be the last time I spoke to her.

PF was in a coma.  I had to try to so hard not to cry when I hugged her husband.  PF looked so helpless, so fragile, I would have had no idea that this is the same PF that I had been with such a short time ago.

 PF’s DH explained that she had some shocking headaches and had a subsequent scan on the Friday before they had found ’shadows’/tumours on the back of her neck.  Its thought that these had caused the lining in her brain to become inflammed and then brought on some severe convulsions.

PF had been in a coma since Saturday afternoon and she wasn’t expected to live for much longer.

Before I left I went to PF, stroked her hair away from her forehead and tried hard to burn her face into my memory.  With tears streaming down my face I kissed her and said goodbye.  I told her I’d miss her and to please kiss my babies when she see’s them.

After hugging PF’s DH again and saying goodbye to her grown children and other family I left the room.  I was struggling to breath and the lump in my throat was threatening to block off my wind pipe totally.  It is so hard to describe that physical pain of grief.

Thank you PF for being a lovely friend to me.  We share the same birthday you and I even though your birth date was 20+ years before mine we forged a lasting friendship.  I will forever remember you on our birthday and treasure the cards with the beautiful heartfelt messages, the precious gifts and treasured memories you and I have shared.

I hate addictions…

My poor friend L who is an alcoholic.  Things have just gone from bad to worse to terrible.  This morning her DH left as he can’t take it any more.  Tonight she was a wreck.  He wouldn’t take the kids, which I cannot understand.  The children are not safe with L (as much as I love her and don’t like saying that) and I can’t believe he’s left them there.  I know he is in a bad place too, and suffering, but the children and their safety have to come first.

 I brought the their kids home with us to have dinner and a bath with our kids and then took them back when it was close to bed time.  When I left L’s place earlier I asked her for her car keys because a few weeks ago she decided to drive during a storm after she’d had too much to drink and got her DH’s car stuck on the fence out the front.  That was another dreadful night

Anyway, she had been drinking tonight, but she promised me there was no more and I couldn’t find any.  When I took the kids back she was quite with it although I could still smell the alcohol. 

One thing about alcoholics is they can drink bucket loads of alcohol and still function seemingly normally.  Some people wouldn’t even know she’d been drinking.

Tomorrow I’m going with her to the GP to get a referral to a private clinic.  I’m hoping she tells the Dr the whole truth with out me having to tell her.  L needs to stop lying and face the truth.  Here is an example of things that have happened while L was intoxicated just this past month:

Smashed her DH’s car, passed out in the water while washing the dishes and nearly drowned, passed out and left the children unattended, passed out at a wedding and ended up on the floor in a position that every one could see what underwear she wasn’t wearing, borrowed money to buy alcohol, drank a bottle of rum then filled the bottle with tea, drank a bottle of wine and then filled it with water, drank beer even though she doesn’t like beer.

Truly the list goes on and on…

The first time I found her passed out I thought she was dead, I was so scared.  I’ve never seen anyone ever look the way she did.  I was about to phone an ambulance when I suddenly realised what was going on.

Anyway hopefully we will get somewhere tomorrow, although I phoned the private clinic she’s trying to get into tonight and they said there is a 2 to 3 week waiting list.  What on earth do we do in the mean time, the fellow tells me, “block her access to alcohol”…  Does he realise how resourceful she is??

Has it been a month already??

I didn’t realise that I hadn’t written in 1 month and I hadn’t realised it’s been 1 month since I signed up for XNDO.  Well I am 5 kilos down, not heaps, but I’m happy .  I haven’t been perfect, but I would say about 70% good.  I’d rather the weight loss be slow it that means it will stay off.

XNDO…

I’ve signed up for this today, 20 kilos to lose here we come

 XNDO

Welcome Sarah’s baby boy…

Well my friend Sarah had her baby boy 3 weeks ago this Friday.  He was born at 25 weeks and 1 day.  What a tiny precious, gorgeous teeny tiny baby he is…

He is doing well for his prematurity and behaving as they would expect him to for such a preemie baby.

Also my friend Karla with the identical twin boys is still in hospital, pregnant and now 25 weeks + 3 days and things have settled down considerably.   Everyday those little boys can stay inside their mummy is a day less they need to spend in special care…

Prayers for Karla and Sarah…

Two of my e friends are struggling right now with their pregnancies.  Karla is pregnant with identical twin boys who have been diagnosed with TTTS (the same potentially fatal condition our twin daughters had).

Sarah ironically has been diagnosed with an incompetent cervix and has just reached 24 weeks gestation yesterday.  She is in hospital on strict bedrest.

It amazes me that these ladies together are going through what we did, only for us it was both conditions for the same pregnancy.

My thoughts and prayers are with you both and I’m praying for you little ones to be born safe and healthy…

Tears for baby Dominic…

The saddest news today on one of the boards I visit.  One of the mums went for a check up at 37.5 weeks, to be told there was no longer a heart beat for her precious little boy.

Dominic’s Mums Website

Baby Angel (author unknown)
Submitted by Angel

Don’t let them say I wasn’t born,That something stopped my heart,
I felt each tender squeeze you gave,I’ve loved you from the start.
Although my body you can’t hold,It doesn’t mean I’m gone,
This world was worthy, not, of me,God chose that I move on.
I know the pain that drowns your soul,What you are forced to face,
You have my word, I’ll fill your arms, Someday we will embrace.
You’ll hear that it was “meant to be God doesn’t make mistakes”,
But that won’t soften your worst blow, Or make your hearts not ache.
I’m watching over all you do, Another child you’ll bear,
Believe me when I say to you, That I am always there.
There’ll come a time, I promise you, When you will hold my hand,
Stroke my face and kiss my lips,And then you’ll understand.
Although I’ve never breathed your air, Or gazed into your eyes,
That doesn’t mean I never “was”
An angel never dies…