A long lost brother??

Well its too long a story to go into right now or in one update, but I have some siblings floating around this country or for that matter maybe around the world that I don’t know…

 My father to be matter of fact, could ‘keep it in his pants’.  He died when I was 7, I don’t really remember him therefore don’t really have any attachement to him.

 As far as I’m aware he was married long before meeting my mother and had a daughter I’ll call Do.  They divorced and he met my mother.  They were together for some time, like 12 years off and on.  My mum doesn’t talk about it much but I saw pictures of him with my mum at her 21st, and he died when my mum was 33 so that how I work that out.

I’ve been told by others that my mother fell pg unexpectedly and he offered to marry her.  Being the stubborn, cut off your nose to spite your face kind of person she still is she refused.  Admirably if not stupidly she didn’t want people to think she had gotten pg on purpose…  ???

 Then as you do, he supposedly got the shites with that and found comfort in the arms of another woman.  When my mother still refused to marry him he said he’d marry the other woman, which it seems he did…

 I discovered by chance some years ago that he had 4 or 5 children with this other woman, but still continued to see my mother.  I don’t judge my mother at all for her choices, I think that she was brave to go it alone in the early 70’s when single mothers were probably expected to give there children up for adoption, which apparently my grandmother had wanted.

Anyway I’ve always toyed with the idea of trying to find some of these siblings.  I was mucking around with facebook last night when I thought I search my fathers very unusual surname (lucky for me).  I found someone who it 3 years younger than I am and sent him a message asking if he was related to ——  ‘gave him my fathers details’.

He has responded this morning with YES, he is my father!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Holy heck!!!!!!!!!!!!!  In this day of technology is it truly that easy to locate someone?

I’ve sent some more information to see what he has to say.  I’m not rushing into anything, he could be an axe murderer for all I know.  But I’m definately interested to learn more so will keep you posted…

Another entry tonight…

Another couple who we are friends with having been having trouble in their marriage for some months.  My DH is quite close with the other DH.  The other DH will call him S, and my DH as they work together and have only spoken a little about what is going on.  Niether of us has spoken to the DW who I will call D.  From what S has said though we were getting the impression that he was trying to fix things, but D was making it difficult.  We have been feeling really sorry for S.

Tonight my DH and S had to go out for dinner with a customer.  Around 1/2 hour after my DH left D phoned me to ask if my DH had gone out to dinner??  I said yes and she started to cry.

She asked if I knew that they had split and I said kind of.  I asked her if she was ok and she started to cry again.

Well didn’t she drop a bomb on me!!  S had been having an affair for more than 2 years!!  With a woman that he has working for them and he has also cheated on his mistress.

D is devestated to say the least.  She told me so many things that I am more than a bit disgusted in S and his treatment of her.  My dilema now though is that she doesn’t want me to tell my DH!!

She’s worried about it getting back to S that she phoned me.  But I have found out a lot tonight about S and I think my DH has a right to know.  There are possibly  many business implications with some of what she has told me and I feel my DH needs to know some things.

My other concern is, I think my DH is going to be shattered.  My DH is a very straight forward, typical aussie guy who thinks most men are geniune and trustworthy.  He will be floored when I tell him whats been going on right under his nose.  He’ll be horrified to know that S is involved with this person and actually wants to leave his family for her.  He may also be worried about the business and if any thing funny is going on there.

Problem is my DH cannot let S know that he knows.  Oh this is so messy.  My head is doing flip flops and I have no idea how I can break this to my DH.  I think I might wait at least till the weekend so that he has time to digest everything and think is all out before he has to go to work.

Boy I sure don’t know how I’m going to get any sleep tonight with all this crazyness going on in my head.

I still hate addictions…

Things have continued to go from bad to worse for L.  Most afternoons are now spent passed out or very close to that state.  I usually put her to bed, take the children and phone her husband to let him know whats going on.

One day last week I was so angry I forced her to show me her hiding spots and I threw out every drop of alcohol I found.  I asked her if there was any more and she swore on my life there wasn’t.  BUT, not 10 minutes later I found 6 small bottle of champagne in her car.

I was so angry with her.  I tossed them onto her lap and said so what am I going to die now that you’ve sworn on my life and lied??

She just smiled as me and said I was a ‘tenacious bugger’, like it was just a game !!

I came home and phoned the rehab place that she is waiting to enter (when they have a spare bed) just to empty my head a bit.  The lady I spoke to was lovely and helped me get a few things sorted in my mind.

 Well I don’t know if it helped things a long at all, but the centre called L on Monday and admitted her on Tuesday. 

She is now 3 days into detox and then will move into a rehab program.  I am so hoping this works and she can then work with her family on rebuilding their shattered life.

I must say I’m not confident this will work the first time around, apparently the stats are 50/50 for success the first go.  Personally in my non professional opinion this attempt with not be successful, but believe me I’d be more than happy to be proved wrong

My friend PF…

My friend PF has been fighting cancer for 2 years.  Lung cancer.  She hasn’t smoked for many years, so not sure if its related to that awful addiction or not.

 They were never expecting a cure, the cancer was inoperable and treatment wasn’t shrinking it only stopping it from growing.

Having treatment ever 3 weeks has been very tough but PF has soldiered on like a real trooper.

On Monday I was told that PF was in hospital and not expected to last the night.  I went straight to the hospital.  I was in such shock.  I was only hugging her about 10 days before and although she was tired I never in a million years thought that could be the last time I spoke to her.

PF was in a coma.  I had to try to so hard not to cry when I hugged her husband.  PF looked so helpless, so fragile, I would have had no idea that this is the same PF that I had been with such a short time ago.

 PF’s DH explained that she had some shocking headaches and had a subsequent scan on the Friday before they had found ’shadows’/tumours on the back of her neck.  Its thought that these had caused the lining in her brain to become inflammed and then brought on some severe convulsions.

PF had been in a coma since Saturday afternoon and she wasn’t expected to live for much longer.

Before I left I went to PF, stroked her hair away from her forehead and tried hard to burn her face into my memory.  With tears streaming down my face I kissed her and said goodbye.  I told her I’d miss her and to please kiss my babies when she see’s them.

After hugging PF’s DH again and saying goodbye to her grown children and other family I left the room.  I was struggling to breath and the lump in my throat was threatening to block off my wind pipe totally.  It is so hard to describe that physical pain of grief.

Thank you PF for being a lovely friend to me.  We share the same birthday you and I even though your birth date was 20+ years before mine we forged a lasting friendship.  I will forever remember you on our birthday and treasure the cards with the beautiful heartfelt messages, the precious gifts and treasured memories you and I have shared.